1) I was able to give blood and that made me happy, because my iron count rose and it didn't hurt at all.
2) I was mad at 2 siblings because they were being incestual, and I caused a big scene about it. (This dream brought to you by...Watching the episode of LOST about Boone & Shannon being (step)incestual lovers
3) I was screaming and crying to my parents that I didn't want to go to church, and they threatened to ground me because of it. I've never screamed so loud in a dream but I don't know. I haven't been to church in 4 years.
my dreams
mlr
Jenni : "Today, my soccer team got our warm up t-shirts that say "You can hit on us, but you can't score." After the game, a guy behind my friend asks, "Hey what does the front of your shirt say?" I replied for her, "You can hit on us." He looked at me and my friend and said, "No thanks." FML"
Jenni : uhh
Jenni : i just made a shirt at work that said that
Alex : hahaha
Alex : you contributed to some girls' FML
Jenni : what are the odds?!
Alex : you should start a website
Alex : www.MLR.com
Alex : my life rules
Alex : and just say how you contributed to other people's FML
bored as the dickens
I'm at work and I'm bored.
I also have a cold.
This weekend was awesome, though. I went down to Baltimore with Dennis, Hayley and Doug. We had a pretty awesome car ride and supported our local pioneers. When we got down to the Ottobar, not many people were there yet. 4 of us took a walk around Baltimore and it was just a lot of apartments and roads. We found a lovely vegan place to eat and it was actually pretty good. After that we went back to the parking lot and hung around outside because we didn't want to go in. Finally we went in, and hung around there for awhile. The floor was dirty and everyone who I wanted to be there was there. Inferno played an okay set. To cut it short, Sam stagedove and they mistook Sam for Dennis. Dennis was kicked out but got back in. Sam changed shirts with Frank and then Frank stagedove. They thought it was Sam doing it for the second time but it was not Sam. So then during the show, Dan and Frank got picked up by the cops for sayin shit. This was a problem after the show because we had no idea where they went. We finally figured it out and then drove back up to philly, with them still in Central Booking. Got to Ryan's house around 4 or 5? Didn't sleep til 6. In the morning we all got up and left. Me Dennis Hayley Doug and Sam went to Sonic to get cherry lime-ades. Then me and dennis got dropped back off at Menlo Park Mall.
I went home and slept for as much as I could and then Dennis and Pam picked me up to go to Red Bank. Took the convertible down the parkway on a hot day and it was awesome. We got there JUST in time. I enjoyed Inferno's set more than then night before. Waltzed with Sam, then it was over. Me and Pam went outside to get my water in the car and everyone went down to the docks. It's a good thing we went to the car because the cops came to the private docks and starting taking down everyones names. Dennis got away so we hung out until people were free to go. Hung around Red Bank a little longer and then drove to Applebee's. Had food with a few people there, and then I went home and passed out.
So the weekend had it's ups and downs, a few people like Dan and Dave couldn't come to Red Bank because Dan was in trouble and Dan was Dave's ride. So basically I was going to have people over to crash but the cops ruined that plan. I guess it was good though, I needed the sleep and had more time to get enough. I worked on Sunday and it was mass chaos in 95 degree weather.
The weather is warm though, and I'm glad. Pool is open but I have yet to go swimming.
I still dream of you at night,
When I think about it rationally, I know where all my friendships went. I just like to overreact sometimes. I just wish it hadn't happened. I won't dwell in the past, but it's exceptionally hard to move on when you didn't want to in the first place. I'm being very vague here. I don't care. I just need to see some people again, some more than others.
I've been down the shore twice this week. The first time it was too colr for the beach, so Alex and I had a nice night at the shorehouse after easter. Thursday, Adam and I took a day trip down the Seaside Heights and the beach. Then we hung out at the shorehouse on the dock and drank a lot of coffee.
So this has been my spring break. Not very eventful, but it was nice to have a break from school. Alex and I went bowling with my roommate and her boyfriend. I spent time with my family and alex's family. I worked a lot. I slept a lot. I still have yet to do schoolwork. It's beautiful out, and I need to go outside.
3 Weeks ago was Alex's/Cayce's/Jims spring break, so I think we did a hell of a lot more then.
I turn 18 in less than a month, I graduate in 2 months.
PS-I watched The Goonies for the first time last night :X
film
I don't care.
I need some tangible things,
and the 10,000(?)+ Photos on my hard drive are probably gonna sit there.
So i'll dabble with analog for a bit.
regression:
not always a bad thing.
i'm turning back the clocks inside my mind,
the ones that tick backward,
toward who i was once
who i want to be again,
the person who never escaped me,
i just had look hard to find
where it went. 
freaks and geeks
I am absolutely disgusted with the things on television today. I've spent a lot of time on the couch the past few days and nothing can compare the shows that have already been canceled. Why do shows like The Real World and The Bachelor and Tila Tequila get to stay on the air? Or last longer? Fuck. It's unfair. TV Shows are much more engaging to me than movies, but only the good shows. Some are still on the air (Lost) but that's going to be over soon anyways. I don't know why I get so emotional about this, haha. Not quite emotional, but well written shows have a knack for grabbing my attention. They reveal lessons to me in a strange way. And I don't feel bad watching the shows I've downloaded, I only feel bad watching the shows that manage to stick around on cable.
white winter hymnal
Sometimes I wish the weather would make up its mind. Friday I was wearing nothing but short sleeves and the warm winter breeze made me feel whole again. Now, there are 2 inches and counting of snow on the ground. Another snowday, eh. Thoughts of summer have raided my head; This year I'm going to make it a good one. Last summer, something happened, and I was in a rut that allowed it to suck. It wasn't TERRIBLE, just not as good as the one before (in comparison.)
I want to camp everywhere because it is extremely cheap, and also because I love camping. There is no excuse for me to not take advantage of my last summer before college...who knows when anything will change. I can't go to faraway places, such as Europe or California because it is too expensive, but I can discover new places around me that are just as beautiful as anywhere else in the world. Also, I can't wait to go to Florida and not have any worries, stay in a beautiful home, and be with friends. All I can say is that I'm ready for summer, but I will let springtime roll in softly and enjoy the increasing temperature.
Temple offered me some more financial aid. I'll be getting around 10,000 a year. And that's not including any other scholarships I might receive. I know I'm not paying my way through college, and I'm extremely grateful that my parents are allowing me this opportunity, but I'd still like to pay them back someday. I found a roommate, we have yet to figure out our housing BUT she is a vegetarian as well, and we have similar tastes when it comes to music and hobbies. Awesome, right? I hope that it all works out for me, I didn't want to end up with some alcohol-crazed lunatic who stays up all night listening to rap music. Because honestly, that was in the realm of possibility.
Today I got a 35mm camera; I inherited it from a recently deceased great aunt. I didn't know her all very well...she was even a great-step aunt. But, tragically, all things have to come to an end. And I get to enjoy new life out of this camera, hopefully. The only downside is that EVERYTHING we got from her house (to either sell at our upcoming garage sale or keep for ourselves) smells like dirty, rotten cigarette smoke. I absolutely would not be able to stand living that way. Couldn't stand to marry a smoker. Aye.
I also read the whole short story of Jekyll and Hyde. I keep wanting to call it "The curious case of Jekyll and Hyde." If I had known there was a snowday, I would have put it off. Best to get things done though, I suppose. I just can't wait until the summertime when I can sit outside for hours and just read while occasionally looking at the trees.
Alex comes home in 19 days...and during the days he is home, we're gonna live them up to the fullest. I want to see the beach again, eat pretzels, make food, eat Zizi's, eat wherever, and see the rest of my friends that are going to be home. Girls night is definitely a must.
 | Fleet Foxes - White Winter Hymnal |  |
 | ||
 | Found at skreemr.com |  |
bug eyes
I don't know why.
firecky: he is kind of a cute little dude
firecky: i will admit
firecky: i would hug him
f/1.8 50mm
(probably an all time favorite)
My mind is like a dog, it needs to be taken for walks every once in awhile. Or everyday, but that just doesn't seem to happen. I look at other people's artwork constantly, and I aspire to be able to do those things. But I am just not there yet, and it's hard to tell myself that. More and more I am realizing that I am a hands-on type person. I wish I could get inside the computer screen, touch every tangible object and arrange it into something beautiful. I cannot do that, though. Which is why it is more difficult to be a graphic artist, rather than a talent-ridden painter or a sculptor. Actually, theyre all difficult. It just seems like "anyone" can be a graphic designer, but that's not true. And I'm trying, really hard. There are just so many more possibilities in the digital world, creating something from nothing in a wider spectrum. I am jealous of those who can actually draw, because that is more of a hands on thing. I should stop selling myself short. Just because I am going to major in graphics does not mean that I am still not a good at other things. I got a new lens today, and it was so nice to get back into photography and actually deal with real, tangible objects. There is such a difference between the two mediums. But I am glad that I know both of them, and that I'm pursuing the one that will probably work out better in my favor. And again with the "selling myself short" aspect - I will never be as good as half the artists in the world. But, I can safely say that I am one of the top artists in my graphics class. Everyone else doesnt seem to get it. What I do is somewhat distinct, and that emanates through what I do at work too. The CUSTOMERS though, I can't deal with. They don't have an appreciation for my modern-esque type logos and whatnot. I just don't get why people settle for less. Even my coworker had some really awesome designs that were shot down because they were un-traditional. I understand why people want to stick the the tradish, but I wish I could open up some peoples minds a bit. I am going to be doing a lot of foundation courses my freshmen year, mostly drawing. I hope I don't suffer horribly, but I think that once I get the hang of it, I will improve.I've stopped caring about anyone else in my goddamn high school, and I'm just there to learn what I can and take away some valuable information. Other people think that learning stuff is dumb and whatever, but if I don't allow myself to be intrigued, i'll lose any motivation to learn. I've got a lot of (literal, it seems) weight on my shoulders (I've got a slight hunchback) and there is so much more shit to be done, before deadlines. Scholarships, projects, poems, aye. My whole high school career just sped up and it's all crashing down. That's why any alone time is definitely valued, there's just always something to be done. I know that things will obviously become more difficult, but I think if i reduce some clutter in my mind and my living space, I can fall into a healthier routine and be more organized. Sorry for the essay.
time will take it all, and it will, you'll see
It's sunday morning, the sunlight is careening beyond the curtain and squeezing its way into the gaps. I woke up with some lovely texts from Alex saying that he had a lot of fun seeing Static Radio. I'm really glad that there was something of substance going on out there in Kansas.
My stress levels are slowly going down. I got most of what I needed to get done finished.
On friday I had a quarter-day at school, so I came home and slept for a long time. I went and hung out with dennis and we watched Once upon a time in Mexico. After that we got food at Shaker Cafe. I went home after dinner and my family was playing Apples to Apples. I joined in for their last half of the game. Totally got my mom with "Absurd - Doing the Dishes."
Yesterday I sat at the kitchen table all day, relentlessly doing homework and watching my sister bake cakes. I told her that I was doing the same thing as her, but on the computer. She asked "Baking cakes?" And i was like well no, not quite. Most of my designs lately are important because they could lead to potential scholarship. My brother was supposed to come over to dinner with some friends, so we set places in the dining room. He bailed so the rest of my family just ate in there, for the first time in 7 years when it wasn't a holiday. If there's one thing that I know won't leave my life, it's my family. All my friends are scattered across the United States, but they are all here. Good to know that I won't be going so far away from home.
I sat on the couch watching TV. There were a lot of movies on, but nothing really of substance. I decided that I wanted to watch something of substance that wasn't Not Another Teen Movie. I put on Blues Brothers and then immediately got sleepy. I don't know why this happens to me, but I can't watch movies after 10 pm.
Mr. Smith was right. Writing as soon as you wake up proves to have a much nicer flow because my short term memory isn't weighed down by any other random things going on through out the day.
what's it like in hell?
Today it snowed, and the snow blanketed the landscape to create something more beautiful than my eyes can handle.
Today, Denny's restaurants across North America were jammed Tuesday with patrons hungry to take advantage of the restaurant chain's Grand Slam breakfast giveaway.
Today, I wrote a poem about a boy I barely know, but I didn't do it by choice.
Today, President Barack Obama admitted he made a mistake in handling the nomination of Tom Daschle as his health and human services secretary.
Today, I worked efficiently and extra hours because I was the only one there. I had a sense of power, oh, the things I have learned.
Today, Myspace booted 90,000 sex offenders.
Today, I realized that my roots are buried within a certain person.
Today, the world continued to spin.
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